Settlements of Issues

I realised that settlements of issues esp. relationsional ones muz be resolved right down to the fundamentals...

U cannot juz walk off clearing up only surface issues coz problems will always come back...

治标不治本

Juz like with Rayner, he asked me for a talk several weeks back but I din really talk about the fundamental issues, juz the surface ones... same with Hock and Diana. Problems keep surfacing... issues based on those fundamental issues...

Am I too sensitive? Maybe...

Maybe I dun like to be put right at the bottom?

Mid terms are coming and I m doin nonsensical work and the worst thing, my com dun aint really supportive...

It is at this juncture that I realised how messed up my life is ...

Look! I lost a good fren after he got attached... I tot I made new frenz but I realised I din... I toned down in serving in church when I used to actively serve... I have so many priorties in life and often my weakness is in tat I m easily persuaded by frenz whom I tot r good frenz or close frenz whom I tot wld give advice tat's in my best interests but I realised tat was the greatest mistake... I was led to anguish... compromise on church? compromise on my family? compromise on sch work?

Even at the point when I really wanted to pull out coz I tot it's really goin to be too taxing, 'frenz' by means of reasons and persuasions got me in...

Joy, Ivan, Sheng, God... where r u pple?

Maybe...

It's my own fault afterall, being so swayed sometimes... being easily convicted...

Preferences or Convictions?

It was nvr personal convictions I realised...

It has always been induced preferences (a weakness my Dad has always pointed out to me)...

Now tat I m in it... wad's next?

Really, it aint anyone's fault but mine... time I priortise things...

There's disembodiment... distress...

Church, family, frenz, sch work, MC duties... I examined and re-examined and I cannot put my finger to it... I cannot, simply cannot priortise MC duties above the rest... and I know tat most of the pple in the com aint my frenz, they r juz 'clubroom frenz'.

Wad a tragedy I walked into...


Thinking Hard