Macro Mid Term

I juz had a truamatic time during macro test...

The questions look so alien and I was so lost while tryin to attempt the questions...

The worst thing pple said was "Dun bluff... Sure or not? Wait come out get 'A'..."

To this I say "PUI!"

Pple juz take it for granted that I m the ever scoring person or something along tat line..

I wish...

This is the exact same feeling perhaps Joy underwent?

I dun even know I can get double digits for the paper...

Yet, pple tink I am all fine and well...

I m not...

Mug n Thank You Dinner

I realised everytime I mug, I do feel happier... maybe it's because I feel as though I've achieved something...

Thank You dinner was like last wednesday and it's relatively late for me to blog abt it but I m going to anyway...

So I was at M hotel and my dearest Meiyi ironed my shirt for me... awwww how sweet!

I went to the thank you dinner with a heavy heart and heavy it was indeed... I was really like down and sometimes I wished I'd someone with me then but it was tat darn Hock who was available then... He was nice and everything but tat din lift the burden.

Juz moments ago, Diana and Yanniez told me, being there for someone does not mean he has to be physically there...

It's true to a large extent. It's always heart warming when I know deep within me that there's this grp of pple I can always run to but when a frenship is blosoming, physical availability strenghthens...

I shared a story with them abt my granny and even as I shared it, I felt a certain gloom coming over me. A sense of regret perhaps? A sense of loss? She was the one I ran to previously... no one else... with her departure, it was like something solid taken out of my life leaving a void...

Life goes on, and I remember my granny saying tat one of her greatest hope is for me to get into uni and I can see her love for me. In fact, I believe it extended as much as her love for her immediate children. She always believed in me. I remember my cousin always being the superior one to me academically but granny always say "Well, it's just u not working hard or else u will be as good..." She nvr said all those to comfort me but she really meant it... I remember every ounce of energy she put into my life...

Sighz... Anyway back to Thank You Dinner... Thnxs to HOck, I attended the dinner and at least it ended up with me having a much lighter heart... Somehow I do get the feeling that my com, esp. the juniors really do support me... Look at Carol: She always go "Ah Pao... how?..." The 3 hai dais always be there... Hock, I m sure he will make himself available...

Haha!

Maybe things aint tat bad?

Or was it the mugging that helped?

Bobz

Dream

I had a sad dream last nite... a reflection of my inner thoughts... there were many pple in my dream bu they r faceless except 2 persons... their faces were distinct...

In the dream, I met with an accident and I saw the driver of the vehicle, and so I was in critical condition lying on the hospital bed but no one really bothered till the wake...

How sad rite? It was only at the wake did I see the 2nd face...

Sad dream... and scary too...

And tdy, I juz went thru macroecons and it looks like I am so dead...

Goned!

Finished!

I m now at clubroom again, 4th nite in a row...

And I was reading a fren's blog and I saw the realities of life - no one really appreciates the efforts of a person or maybe it's juz taking for granted...

But does it therefore mean that u go all nasty n stuff? This is a sensitive topic... No one reaaly knows, there is no satisfactory answer...


Bobz
:(

Wad LH said...and a nite out

A dear fren of mine told me this on msn after reading my blog...

"... if the club aint the place u can find true friendship i guess u just have to give up trying to find friends there and revert back to strengthening old frenships..." - 小惠

After spending almost the whole wkend in clubroom, I decided to go town for a short while with Mary and Josh...

Dear Josh had to spend a minimum of 10 bucks I tink b4 he cld pay using credit card at coffee bean but guess wad tat generous Josh did... He got a drink, 2 cookies and a cheesecake.. Thanks Josh! (even though tat was not intentional)

Rabbit had displayed his utmost niceness and care as the dy welfare guy... got me noodles in the middle of the nite... nice hor?

I was at Kino b4 Mary came... trying to read comics for free and some eeeeeba eeeeba an-de-lehz was hogging the comic I wanna read...!

So, I had to employ Hock's wassup yoz! stare coupled with Diana Kartika's Oomph! glare, empowered by my contact lens to pressure tat guy... well... it WORKED!

So I got to read my comic...

hahaha!


K byez!
Bobz

Settlements of Issues

I realised that settlements of issues esp. relationsional ones muz be resolved right down to the fundamentals...

U cannot juz walk off clearing up only surface issues coz problems will always come back...

治标不治本

Juz like with Rayner, he asked me for a talk several weeks back but I din really talk about the fundamental issues, juz the surface ones... same with Hock and Diana. Problems keep surfacing... issues based on those fundamental issues...

Am I too sensitive? Maybe...

Maybe I dun like to be put right at the bottom?

Mid terms are coming and I m doin nonsensical work and the worst thing, my com dun aint really supportive...

It is at this juncture that I realised how messed up my life is ...

Look! I lost a good fren after he got attached... I tot I made new frenz but I realised I din... I toned down in serving in church when I used to actively serve... I have so many priorties in life and often my weakness is in tat I m easily persuaded by frenz whom I tot r good frenz or close frenz whom I tot wld give advice tat's in my best interests but I realised tat was the greatest mistake... I was led to anguish... compromise on church? compromise on my family? compromise on sch work?

Even at the point when I really wanted to pull out coz I tot it's really goin to be too taxing, 'frenz' by means of reasons and persuasions got me in...

Joy, Ivan, Sheng, God... where r u pple?

Maybe...

It's my own fault afterall, being so swayed sometimes... being easily convicted...

Preferences or Convictions?

It was nvr personal convictions I realised...

It has always been induced preferences (a weakness my Dad has always pointed out to me)...

Now tat I m in it... wad's next?

Really, it aint anyone's fault but mine... time I priortise things...

There's disembodiment... distress...

Church, family, frenz, sch work, MC duties... I examined and re-examined and I cannot put my finger to it... I cannot, simply cannot priortise MC duties above the rest... and I know tat most of the pple in the com aint my frenz, they r juz 'clubroom frenz'.

Wad a tragedy I walked into...


Thinking Hard

The End

As I reached the end ... I begun to realise various stuff...

1. People are only into permanent interests not permanent frenz

2. Certain frenships are only as sustainable as the period u serve in the com.

3. Many times, u r on yr own and if pple help, tat's a bonus

4. There's nothing really trustable nor trustworthy

Stop!

"I was always under the impression that priorities led u to make this decision..."

Nahz! Not only that, the above 4 points contribute much too... And I cannot get down to any work until I get my mind off this...

As for Rayner, it is of an utmost delicate situation... But! I still LOVE u!



Bobbz

L.O.S.T & the wkend tat juz passed

I m officially lost!

Work, church, frenz and MC duties...

I realised I tend to be lost when I am alone...

6 hours wasted in sleep...

"With God, nothing is impossible" or so says the Bible...

"You are more than a conqueror in Christ"

"Ye shall walk thru the valley of the shadown of death but I shall fear no evil..."

"A bruised reed he will not break and a smoking flax he will not quench"

These are words that used to encourage me a lot...

However, realities of life set in...

I was juz toking to Mary a couple of hours back about quickie marriages... it seems as though the new generation of pple has reached a point of immoral saturation. It makes me feel the need to be circumspect.

At this juncture, I am feelin lost... Is it b'coz I got too much to do... or too little...

I gained some ever since I was matriculated into NUS but I've lost much...

I've gained some ever since I ran for MC but I've lost much too...

It's most gratifying to see the 26th cleaning up the clubroom with enthusiam...

A pity I'd finance budgets to rush else I wld have wanted to be part of it... I see this clean-up session juz beyond cleaning up... it means bonding, laughter... there's an intrisnic property about it...

The 26th Management Committee:

Hock - There're things we need to sort out but b4 all these, I always see u as someone fun loving n nice n such...

Rayner - Things turned out well after tat 'talk' and sometimes too well... Think I've given u more stress than b4 and I really tink your picture is super act chio...


But anyhow, I got to give thanks for all that u've been doin these past weeks...

U r one of the reasons why I stayed on in the com. (MY GOSH! I sound as though I've juz handed over)

HGS, Meiyi- Lots to learn but I am so glad to see u here... it does to some extent proved that I did my job well as a hse i/c back in o-wk and arts camp...

Sports, Welfare & Charity Directors aka the Hai Dais -


U pple are another reason why I stayed... That day we made the decision to stay on thru our tribal council at K-Box where JM was the presiding officer...

Stay Cheerful! JY, JJ and Layz, u girls will draw strength from each other so u will do well...

FOP Chair, Ru-hua and Publications Director, Eileen- How interesting rite? FOP period till now... nvr once crossed my mind that Eileen will run and Reuben, I'm glad u did... U will do a fantastic job at FOP, tat I m certain!

The rest of the com: Take heart!

Diana Kartika: Thnxs for being there to listen to my whining and complains... lotsa of them I m sure...


My dearest Funis and fella freshmen of my time: Jennifer for always askin after me... Joy who I know I can always count on... Xin, for your light heartedness, Jonny for your sweating :)

I am so glad to have known u guys thru Arts Camp '04/05

Tat's why I dun understand why it is so difficult to get pple to go for arts camp... it's where frenship is forged... Not to forget, frenship can be forged thru games of bridge and "All Hail Our Glorious Leader" and tat's how Jonny on the extreme left got imported in and how Joy showed herself up... hahahah!


Jennifer (the girl in brown), you still owe me many games of squash and wad about wakeboarding? Xin-along, the one juz behind Jennifer, not really chatted up with u for years and Yuyan...finally get to work more with you during FOP this year...

Funis, we need to meet up soon man!



Last but not least, my dearest JC and SA frenz! It's been a while aint it? And I tink the last time we meet up with Ken was like during his birthday? Fa: Not tat I dun wanna put your picture, I realised I dun have it...

The PJC Gang



So shall we meet up soon? hahaha!

SAINTS!

OH! I juz did this personality test: Which of the seven deadly sins are you?


You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always
behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outta
people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,
after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.
Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.
However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Cool rite?
Hahah!

I tink I shall sign out from here...

Boobz!

AGM

Juz had the AGM earlier on... so now I've officially stepped up as the Hon. T of the 26th Management Committee...

Great... they told me not to go for lecture... gosh...

Bobz

The Amoeba Revisited and the Bling Bling

Juz got back from KR bash - Bling Bling... I muz say the venue is quite small compared to CLub Momo but then again, this is more of a hall bash, so the outreach wun be that great...

Din stay long, left around 1 am?

Had a long talk with Di on the stairs outside Tower Block...

Was wondering, I can never understand the rationale of 2 good girlfrenz or boyfrenz falling out with each other over a 3rd party...

Was wondering, how issit tat it does not really happen to me...

Am I asexual? I tink I do have sexual drives, perhaps even strong ones, you never know... but I dun feel the urge to merge...

hahaha! Maybe like I professed sometime back, perhaps I really am an amoeba... destined to a life of lonliness...

Dun care, relationships are of least priorty if they are even of any...

Regarding my MC work, Rayner said I am too nice to certain pple...

Maybe I shld put my feet down and stamp hard... real hard...

Every single human has a void in them... it's like those shape-fitting toys kids play with... they try to fit the rite shape and size in the rite whole... This void is like a square... Many seek to fill this void, searching all the wrong places and looking at all the wrong faces... They try to fill it with what they call Love or romance with another person... this sounds so distant from me... Love is like a square tat's of smaller size... it can fit into the void but it aint enuff to fill it... I tink only God can...

God is like the full cube, able to fit in and fill up this void to form the entire picture...

Look not to man but to God who is the source of love...

Anyway, sometimes as I do my MC work, I really feel like giving some pple a Ponggol Block 107 on his/her ass!


Got to run...
CHeerz!
Bobz

Thoughts

My heart is racing fast as I m typing this...

Anguish...

Work to be done... I turned around... everyone's gone...

"Dun worry. I'll be there to help"

Since all is gone, there's no incentive to stay...

Got tons of econs to do... readings to catch up...

I tink I've been on the streak of irritation...

Prolly been irritating Di and Rayner...

We'll see how things go...

Anyway, I dun tink I am up to it.


From now till then
Bobz

Consultations...

I juz realised something ... the most powerful pple in the world aint tat powerful afterall...

The Prime Minister has to consult the parliament before passing a law...

The US President has to go thru the congress to pass a bill...

Liu Bei had to consult Zhuge Liang before advancing his troops...


And oh! Di told me to talk it out b'coz if not I'll be angry everyday... in her exact words: I don't know how long u can last...



Bobz!

Regression

For all those out there hating stats esp. the part on regression and correlation, here's the story behind them:

The phenomenon of Regression to the mean was something founded by Sir Francis Galton.

He discovered that the sons of tall fathers tend to be shorter than their fathers. Likewise, the sons of short fathers turn out to be taller than their fathers.

It seem as though there are some mysterious forces that cause human heights to move away from the extreme and towards the average height of humans.

This phenomenon must be true because suppose that this regression to the mean does not occur. That will mean that on average, the sons of tall fathers will be as tall as their fathers. Hence, some sons will have to be taller than their fathers to average out the ones who are shorters. This would go on generations after generations and likewise for the short fathers and sons. After several generations, you will notice that the human race will consist of ever taller people at one end and ever shorter people at the other.

This does not happen. The human height tends to remain stable on average.

And so, I can conclude that Regression to the mean is a phenomenon that maintains stablility.

Interesting hor? =)

Anyway, weekend passed and I realised how laggy I am in terms of school work. I betta buck up!

Joy, stop tinking of him la.. tink more of me, like u always do...

Xin: Stay cheery! Not heard from u for ages!

Jonny: Look to God and he will clear ur disillusions!

Bobz: BUCK UP!


The Bobz
As Always

The Hon. T

I m now the Hon. Treasurer of Arts Club!

But am I happy? Was it worth it agreeing to the job?

Was I not roped in? But how issit I feel left behind...?

Was it a rite decision?

But since I'm in... I'm in...


Juz back from Harry's

Bobz!

R.O.P

The Rites of Passage...

Burdened I went... n Burdened I left!

Did I learn much?

No... not much but I din realise tat I will not excel in anything I do not believe in...

26th! It's 1 year ahead...


Cheerz!
Boobz

The 26th M.C, R.O.P & Frenz

I am alrdy an MC elect in Arts Club...

My 'senior advisors' told me not to run for it b'coz I will be losing friends, time amidst many others...

I was contemplating withdrawal when Rayner told me "We are friends, so we can help each other thru..."

For a while, I felt quite relieved to hear something like that...

But as time passes, I realised that what my council of senior advisors told me can be true... likely anyway...

I might have made new 'frenz' but so wad? Time has proven that my old frenz are the ones staying loyal and faithful...

Ivan told me some time again "The Bobby I knew was someone humble... not as high profiled, yes... but he had more sincere frenz..." (something along this line) ...

Now as days passed after being in the 26th MC (elect), I begin to see light in his remarks..

Am I being melancholic or something? Or being overly sensitive?

I tot it thru and I realised... no...

It is R.O.P this wkend... of wad spirit am I supposed to go in?



God, Speak to me...

Perhaps, I shld have listened when the spirit of God spoke...

Bobz